Depressed!AmericaXDead!Ghost!Reader

“Alfred!”  A girl with <h/l> <h/c> ran up to the tall, blond haired boy and hugged him. “I missed you!” Alfred turned his head around to see _____ hugging his back side.

He smiled and hugged the girl back. “Missed ya too _____!” The boy said laughing.

Seven . . .

“Alred? Can we go fishing?” _____ stood there with a cane pole and a bucket in hand. Her hat was covering most of her face as she smiled.

“Of course we can! Can Mattie come along too?” Alfred asked with a huge smile on his face. Just as happily _____ smiled and dropped her pole and bucket and raced off to go search for the Canadian. Alfred waited for her as she returned shortly dragging a blond haired boy behind her.

Eight . . .

“_____? What’s wrong?” Alfred asked when he noticed _____ not smiling at all. Her head shot up and looked in his direction and smiled before she hoped he saw her. “---_____?"

"Nothing Alfred~! I don’t need to smile all the time right?” Her voices sounded questionable to the boy sitting next to her. The smile that she wore didn’t seem as happy as it used to be. He should of known . . .

Nine . . .

The boy stopped as the memories came to a sudden halt. He looked down to see the damage that he has done. Nine fine cuts coded his arm like the bar code to his videogames. All of them in memories of her.

The phone rang. It’s been a few days since _____ has talked to him. He checked the caller id before answering. Shaking, he answered the phone. The boy was so nervous and excited to hear her voices again. Matthew watched from where he sat on the couch.

“Alfred?” The boy’s brother asked when he saw the smile disappear on the boy’s face as he started losing balance. The Canadian shot up and ran to his brothers side supporting him before getting him a chair to sit on.

The phone dropped to the ground soon after. “Hello? Alfie?” Thecaller could be heard coming from the other end. Matthew picked up the phone.

“Hello? This is Matthew . . .”

“Oh, hello Mattie.” ---_____’s mom was on the other side. Her voices sounded chocked as if she has been crying for hours.

“I-Is there something wrong?”

“_____ . . .” There was a long pause as _____’s mom tried to speak but was even quieter than Mattie has ever gotten. “_____ ha - - -“

“Hey you git! You’ve been in there forever! Get the bloody hell out already!”

Alfred snapped back to the present before a little panic washed over him as he raced to the sink to wash the excess blood off of his arm before covering up his cuts with his sleeve. After wetting his face with the water he smiled at himself in the mirror seeing if his “mask” was in place. He opened the door to let his brother in. “Hahahahaha was reading this awesome magazine article ya know?”

Arthur just mumbled to himself before closing the door after the American got out of his way. Something didn’t seem right to him as he walked to the toilet. There was no magazine at all to be found and it didn’t even seem that the toilet has been used. There was something bothering the British man for a while now about his younger brother. Worriedly he walked to the sink and saw what he hoped he wouldn’t. A feint tint of red was still visible in the ceramic bowl. “Alfred?” The Britt whispered to nothing.

Francis and Matthew were sitting in the living room watching a hockey game as Alfred jumped in between the two brothers wrapping his arms laughing. “So who’s winning?” His brothers glared at the American but started laughing at the cute pouting face he was making.

Arthur came back and sat on the chair watching Alfred with concern. “Am I just over reacting? Nothing seems to be wrong with him.” He said to himself.

All four men listened to the doorbell as it rang at the same time the clock struck noon. They all stood up and turned the tv off before heading towards the door to find _____’s mom standing there with a rather sad face. “Thank’s for coming . . . “ She said quietly as she held open the car door for the men but was stopped by Francis telling her that it wasn’t a ladies job to open the  door for me.

They drove to the nearby park where _____ really liked to hang out with Alfred and Matthew. The car parked and everyone got out. The cold wind sent chills racing down Alfred’s back as more memories ran through his head. Matthew slung his arm around the American as they headed towards a willow tree. The one where _____ liked to read under and take Alfred on picnics. Where she spent a lot of her time when she wanted to be alone. They came across a stick cross that they made a year ago.

Alfred fell to his knees and started t ocry. “. . . has committed suicide . . .” He quietly whispered to himself as _____’ smother sat next to him as they paid their respects to their lost family member and best friend. A cold wind blew and rustled through the late autumn leaves making them fall. _____ loved this time of the year. The beauty and its fight to stay alive before winter came around.

Matthew also knelt beside Alfred as he felt his tear stained cheeks every time the wind blew. “I can’t believe she’s really gone . . .”

The five of them sat on the ground talking about the good days with _____. Like how Matthew’s hockey team won the state title and Alfred’s baseball team took second in a tournament. Even Francis and Arthur told _____ things that happened to them too even though they weren’t as close to her as the other three. Before they knew it, an hour and a half went by before _____’s mom stood up saying that it’s probably best to go now. Arthur and Francis walked her back to the car as Alfred still sat in front of the wooden cross hugging his knees.

“Hey Alfred it’s time to go,” Matthew said as he held his hand out for his brother to take so he could help him up. “Come on let’s go.” He said when Alfred still made no move to leave the spot that he was in.

Francis returned to the two remaining brothers and whispered into Matthews ear before he walked back to the car and Matthew taking his jacket off and wrapping it around Alfred’s shoulders to keep warmer after seeing that he was shaking from how cold he has gotten.

Soon after the four of them left leaving him and _____ by themselves. He took his glasses off and wiped the tears away from his dull lifeless baby blue eyes that they had held for so long. Looking at his already coded arm he took out his knife and placed the sharp edge close to the last one he had made earlier that day. Before he continued coding his arm he heard a voice. A voice he has missed and loved so much that when he looked up he saw a ghostly image of _____ slowly becoming more visible as she sat in her favourite outfit under the tree with a bright smile on her face.

“Alfred~ I’m sorry I took so long!”

The American stared at the girl. Was he dreaming? “__-_____?”

The girl smile sweetened and tilted her head. “What’s wrong Alfred? I thought you would be happy to see me!” The smile slowly faded away. “Oh . . . I see . . .” _____ got up and slowly walked to Alfred making the leaves around her dance. She knelt down in front of the confused Alfred. He didn’t know what was going on. Was he just going insane? Or was she for real? He took the knife and slit his arm again; Deeper than he has ever gone. The leaves turned crimson as blood started to trickle on them as the drops fell from the bleeding wound. No, he wasn’t dreaming and he was pretty sure he took his meds this morning.

_____ put her hand on his bleeding arm. “Alfred dear, don’t do that!” She took the knife away from his grasp and threw it on the ground a few feet away. “You shouldn’t cut yourself like that ever again!” Her words, though stern were actually calming to the boy.

“Why? Why did you - - -“ Alfred started but was stopped when cold fingers touched his lips.
“Shhh~ Alfred I want you to do something for me. I can’t change that you’re feeling like this but I want you to be happy. Don’t cry over me because I’m always with you.” Alfred’s eyes were tearing up again. “I want you to live for the both of us. Live the life that I missed.” _____ put her hand on his shoulder. Her touch no longer felt cold but warm like the smile that she used to wear. “I believe in you Alfred. You’re strong and you’ll fight your way out of the darkness that I could not find my way out of even if you have to fake it~. The more you act happy dear the more you’ll trick yourself into actually feeling happy~”

He shook his head. “I-I want to be with you. Life is so boring without you here by my side.  I’m to weak to fight this time. I don’t have the strength to be the hero anymore. . .” His voice shook.

_____ smiled sweetly at him. “That’s so sweet of you to say Alfie,” Suddenly her form was starting to fade. “You’re strong and you’ll put up a really good fight. You’ll be the hero. You’ll be my hero!” Her imaged faded but her voice still called out. “You’re going to make it Alfred! Strongest hero I know! That’s why I fell in lo - - -“ Heavy silence fell as Alfred’s vision turned black as he fell to the ground feeling a new heaviness fall upon him.

“Alfred?” A new warmth took over the American as he started to wake up from the nightmare he had just had. “Alfred?” There was that voice again. He opened his eyes and slid them to where the voice was.

Another male walked into his sight. Green eyes started directly into his. “You passed out after we left you and came back a few hours later finding you sleeping. You probably got to exhausted and we carried you back to the car and into your bed.” There was a slight pause. “Oh! And . . . what are those markings on your arm?” Arthur asked him as Alfred put his hand on his wrist and trailed his fingers down his arm feeling the cuts beneath his fingers.

“Nothing to worry about anymore . . .” Alfred said with a smile and a small painful laugh. Francis came back carrying a new bandaid.

“You were bleeding when we picked you up,” He replied. “Alfred, have you been cutting?”

A sigh escaped his lips. “It doesn’t matter anymore~ I’m fine~”

“STUPID GIT! OF COURSE YOU’RE NOT! DO YOU THINK WE HAVN’T NOTICED YOUR ODD BEHAVIOR!? SO TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG AND WE’LL HELP!”

Alfred laughed. “Nothing is wrong anymore,” Matthew looked at him with sad eyes not wanting to see his twin brother like this. “I’m not allowed to die. I’m not allowed to cut anymore! Even if she can stop me or not! I’ll still be her hero. I’ll always be by her side!” He looked up at the ceiling and laughed.” I’m coming home _____. I’ll be there soon. I’m strong enough to know what I want, and I want you to be my sidekick. I’m coming home _____. I’m coming home.”

* * * Extended Ending * * *

He laid on the ground under the willow tree next to a wooden cross that he himself made a year ago. A pool of blood dyed the leaves the colour of crimson. It was late, nobody was going to find him until the sun rises. Alfred looked at _____ sitting on the other side watching the moonrise. Her dull eyes were not blinking at the moons brightness. She heard something approach her and swung her head to the direction the nose came from. She stood up surprised.

“Alfred! What are you doing here???”

He smiled at her and replied. “I came to be your hero.”